I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
