But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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