Dual....:-)
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
