You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
