is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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