I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
