I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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