i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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