I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
