i jhust puked up my retainher.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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