Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
