Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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