just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
