You're completely useless in the revolution.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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