But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
