So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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