New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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