I need to stop coming to work sober
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
