What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
