areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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