Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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