if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
