so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
It's blow job season.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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