the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize