I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
