I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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