he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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