I should be sponsored by Trojan
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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