The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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