I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
