That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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