Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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