One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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