I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
