why didn't you poke me back
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
