Christians are straight up FREAKS
I love black thongs
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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