OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize