Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
This baby is an asshole
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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