the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
50% drunk capacity currently
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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