dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
