That's when you crack a 10am beer
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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