i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
His hands were made for my vagina.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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