put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
