Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
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Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You pole danced in your parka.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
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Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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