I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
