he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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