i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
