Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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