WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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