We're facebook friends in real life
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
