I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
