Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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