Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
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