two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Randomize
