The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
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At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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