You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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