I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
