We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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