Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
