Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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