So drunk its hurt
I think I am morally bankrupt
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
