u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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