We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
