Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
