Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
