Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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